12/12/2006

Artifact Two: Pro-Ana Blogrings

"oh my god I am a failure! Yesterday was the first day of my fast and I did OK during the day but at night I had like half a turkey sandwich.....like 225 cals and then drank a bottle and a half of wine AND THEN I HAD SIX PIECES OF BREAD! Why am I so disgusting!!!??!?!?!?!?!? Why can't I control myself....I freakin landslided back soooo much last night and I don't know WHY! I was FINALLY beginning to see some progress and I just THREW IT ALL AWAY! Right out the window....I wish someone would throw me out a window of the top floor of a skyscraper. I am so unhappy. I just took quadruple the dose of hoodia and I took 6 laxatives...I know it will just be water weight that comes off but I really don't care right now. I can't believe I let myself ****ing fail!!!!! Why am I such a failure! I want someone to help me and treat me like I'm at boot camp if I even LOOK at food with a hint of wanting to eat it! ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I threw alllll my work away for what? Nothing! The guy I like is coming over today and I'm sure hes going to be like "ew she is so fat why did I come over here?!?!?!" and I'll probably have to go to the bathroom a lot (laxatives) I just hope I don't have to when he is here.can someone pleasssseeeeeeeee be my whip my *** into gear lady? or gentleman? Cuz I need it! I need constant reminders of how fat I am and how eating will only make me fatter, but not eating will get me to my goal of seeing bones and being beautiful...why can't i be beautiful?!?!" http://community.livejournal.com/proanorexia/

Thinsperation


This is an example of a typical post on a "pro-anorexia" discussion blog. "Pro-anorexia" or "pro-ana" sites on Xanga, LiveJournal, and other discussion forums across the web are growing by the day. The media was fixated on pro-ana websites for awhile in 2001, when blogs were becoming increasingly popular (which, in turn, made pro-ana blogs increasingly popular...). However, these anorexic blogrings and websites have moved to another phase altogether. Pro-Anorexic websites appear to be used by three distinct backgrounds in their experience with anorexia...

1.Those who are not anorexic, but want to become anorexic
2. Those who are already anorexic
3. Those who fight to suppress any pro-anorexic views -- usually either survivors of anorexia, families of survivors, or others who just take a strong interest on the topic.

Those who wish to become anorexic or are already anorexic offer advice and tips to one another and support the idea that becoming anorexic is a deliberate and understandable lifestyle choice. They usually provide tips, "thinsperation" (pictures of thin, beautiful women that help maintain the motivation to be anorexic), or even articles on how to be anorexic in the first place. The big question, however, is the perspective in these pro-ana websites, in fact dangerous to the people viewing them? By normalizing the anorexic viewpoints and making anorexia seem okay, when it is in fact a life threatening disorder, these sites increase the attractiveness of a disease that could ultimately prove to be fatal.

Pro Anorexia and Xanga Across the Web. Dr. Greg Mulhauser. 12 December 2006 <http://counsellingresource.com/features/archives/2004/weight-loss-diet-and-eating-disorders/pro-ana/>.

When I was browsing through the LiveJournal posts, I was in shock. Mostly, the girls would post their total calorie intake for the day, their exercise, and calculate how many calories in all they would have. They would praise themselves on loosing a pound, but would then strive to loose another. They were never satisfied. Some girls just posted their feelings, frustration, confusion, and just vented to the other girls. This sort of "anorexic community" seems as if it would be a good idea, because all the people suffer from the same disease, however, it simply proves to be more unhealthy for the people that participate in it. Girls will trade unhealthy tips and tricks for each other and themselves and girls will just become more and more engrossed in their mental disease. It almost makes anorexia more of an obsession to the people involved in these blogs, and it will just make it that much harder for them to recover... if they even want to recover at all. What kills me though, is that these girls have a clue. They know what they're doing to themselves. They know the dangers. For example...

" Does anyone feel that we are all on this never ending cycle?? I mean we are all either fasting or restricting and then usually binging. I dont know about you all but I fast or restrict and yes lose weight but gain it right back within a week or within one binge! I mean so my goal to get super skinny happens and then is taken away from me a few short days of eating........maybe this just happens to me but my weight is always fluctuating. So why do we do this when this is not really weight loss and just ends up with binging? Why dont I just end this cycle and eat healthy and normal.....why is it so hard when I can clearly see that this is not doing a good. Sorry just venting a little " http://community.livejournal.com/proanorexia/

After reading that post I realized, they KNOW it's a bad cycle. They KNOW it's hurting themselves. They don't CHOOSE to do what they do, their mental state forces them into this vicious cycle of hurting themselves. A true anorexic can't help themselves.

2 comments:

William Tell said...

Post the MLA documentation at the start of a source discussion. Also, go back into this post and edit out the swear words. You wouldn't say them in class, and I don't expect to read them here. Type astericks there instead. We'll get the point.

ERB said...

Sorry! I didn't realize there were swear words until I read through again, I just wasn't paying attention.